I realized that if you can't make friends, at least you can buy some!
If they're good, they cost a bit of money, but I see it as an investment.
My new friend is called Roland Fp4. We became friends saturday the 16th of october. He makes an awful lot of noise, some nice and gentle, other irregular really annoying ones (sorry neighbours!), but it's all a part of the learning curve on how to be a really good friend of mine.
Alright, so Roland is a piano. Before I met Roland I never really had the confidence of praticing too much as I knew that at some point I would go wrong and would have to stop and do it all over again...and sometimes I manage to ignore how that made people around me (my family) feel..untill some went physical and slammed doors at me. Their "cries for help" even expressed itself as "turntheradioonsoflippinhighthatshecan'tevenhearherself", and "turnthetellyonandexplaintoclarathattvgoesbeforepianoplaying" I don't blame them. I wish I could've used headphones...but hey, that's acoustic for you! (Maybe we should add here aswell that I was incredibly inpatient and just wanted to be able to play the piece straight away and when I couldn't...I took it out on dad. Sowwy dad!
Somehow I made it anyhow, and I now know how to play piano, more or less. I'm not awesome, but it'll get me by leading worship and doing an intro-game or two (when I feel like it. I'm not some kind of monkey!...referring to the last example). Now since Roland moved in on Bellmansgatan 20, I've decided to buy some headphones to accompany him and I'm gonna practice. Yes I am. Please ask me every now and then if I have. Push me into becominga better me. Do it!
I just want to be able to do all the basics, that I still don't know how to do, and I want to do them so much that they will come naturally.
A part of me is feeling that it's too late. Everyone that is really special and "make it" are the ones that "started with this and that when they were not even born". But who says you gotta be really young to live your dream? ( I know all you 50 +:ers. I am...) And that's for you too. Whatever you feel you wanna do...it's not too late. Maybe you're not living your dream (that I hope and wish is Gods dream in you) right now, but if you're not doing what you're doing now, maybe you would never get there? So that's why I've decided to learn some more. I said it again.
How many times do we not stop and look back and see "Aaah...THAT'S WHY!" "If I never made all those ,sometimes awkward, phone-calls, I would never have spoken to this person, which then..." You know? Or don't you?`
God works in mysterious ways. Indeed. I have no idea why I'm here in Uppsala, which makes it hard to stay here when things are tough. But God placed it on our hearts to go and live here for a while so we'll just have to keep trying to figure out what and get involved.
My husband is amazing at coming up with brilliant ideas and he's now trying to put some of them into practice. I so admire that in him, and I so underestimate him. I'll say like Thomas Karlsson "He's gonna be a millionaire", and I really wouldn't mind that! In the meanwhile I'll just keep working here (which I actually like!) and practising that Roland and maybe one day when it's time to move on from here I'll be ready for that dream to come true...
LOVE PEACE AND HARMONY!